Wildernes Experience # 2: a few more ticks

went on my second solo camping trip, --a little shorter and a little more ticks.

My theme for the first was in 1 kings 19:9-11
WHat are you doing here? -- "I have been zealous for the Lord God Almighty"

maybe an encounter, an experince, possibly change.
I read primarially Job,

the theme for my second trip: not sure,
Wasnt exaclty sure why I went out there. Still not exaclty sure, but something my dad said the day before went something like this..

Ive been meaning to tell you this. . . in everything you do, you have to enjoy it. dont fear the outcome of circumstances. . . and in playing baseball, take every swing as if it was your last. [Dad, correct on this wording]

my response: 'yea, but thats not the easiest lesson to learn.'

so I spent my time reading some, in and around the 11 mile hike I took to get to the first campground in my CROCKS, (i think i wore off the feeling from the tips of my toes). Didnt exactly get the first campgound though, I slept in a dirt road 1 mile bf I got to the camp ground - too dark to keep going, (I saw it symbolically as the israilites waited 3 days bf the entered the promise land), then my plan was to come back to the trail head after 3 days and jump in the lake (another symbol: baptism, a new birth, crossing the jordan ect..).
But I didnt make it that long, I kept getting angry. I wanted to be w people, to stop lazying around being unproductive - last time I had a job and plans waiting back at home, this time - nothing, and I couldnt figure why the heak I was out there.
but I did get what I wanted out there, I learned a few things, one of those - repentance: sight from his sight:

so i was mad bc I figued out after id been walking 6 miles that I dont need to walk 10 miles to have an experience w God. sounds so religous. and it was similar to the experience I had studying Taiji, doing all that mystical, meditative stuff for some highter intimacy, all meaningless ritual, confusion.
but i decided to do some reading since i was already out there, on moses: only one to talk to God face to face. Read his psalms.
So I wanted REST, rest from the rituals, the confusion, the error, rest from me, rest from walking for no reason in crocks and canned tuna. REST!!
and so somthing happened, not sure what exactly. but i can sit around and not think about all the problems in the world that need to be fixed.
I think what happened was reality.